Friday, March 4

Happy National Grammar Day, from me and my twitch!

Today is National Grammar Day and my insides are giddy. All over the planet, my fellow lovers of words are rejoicing...breaking it down with a little comma shuffle.

I feel as if the mother ship has arrived and she's carrying all of my people Where have you guys been?

Instead of making this a post about all things correct, I thought I'd share with you the inner spaces of my brain...the irony I find in the language I love...and the places it goes when I'm silently correcting your grammar.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I realize that I occasionally incorrectly use the ellipsis. I'm not perfect. There, I said it.

Are you sitting down?

Here goes.

- When people type "Your welcome", I envision a person handing a lost welcome sign to its recently located owner. Thank you for returning it.

- There's always "To funny" where I see a man, waving his fist in the air, declaring a journey to funny. Where is funny and how do I get there?

- Why does the word non-hyphenated have a hyphen?

- Every time someone uses an apostrophe to make something plural, I'm certain an angel loses its wings.

- When I see the word alot, I think about aporkchop.

- "Yes, I defiantly will." There's no need to be so aggressive, it was just a question.

- "Outrunning errands" does not mean you're out, making multiple stops. It means that your angry errands are chasing you and you're just barely getting away.

- "Be pacific." Seriously? I can't, it's an ocean.

- Lastly, my personal favorite...Superheroes do good, I'm doing well.

Do you see why I have a twitch? I can't turn it off. It's my mother's fault...HI, MOM! She and my English teachers have forever made me perpetually mortified when reading the internet.

Happy National Grammar Day!

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