Today is National Grammar Day and my insides are giddy. All over the planet, my fellow lovers of words are rejoicing...breaking it down with a little comma shuffle.
I feel as if the mother ship has arrived and she's carrying all of my people Where have you guys been?
Instead of making this a post about all things correct, I thought I'd share with you the inner spaces of my brain...the irony I find in the language I love...and the places it goes when I'm silently correcting your grammar.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I realize that I occasionally incorrectly use the ellipsis. I'm not perfect. There, I said it.
Are you sitting down?
- When people type "Your welcome", I envision a person handing a lost welcome sign to its recently located owner. Thank you for returning it.
- There's always "To funny" where I see a man, waving his fist in the air, declaring a journey to funny. Where is funny and how do I get there?
- Why does the word non-hyphenated have a hyphen?
- Every time someone uses an apostrophe to make something plural, I'm certain an angel loses its wings.
- When I see the word alot, I think about aporkchop.
- "Yes, I defiantly will." There's no need to be so aggressive, it was just a question.
- "Outrunning errands" does not mean you're out, making multiple stops. It means that your angry errands are chasing you and you're just barely getting away.
- "Be pacific." Seriously? I can't, it's an ocean.
- Lastly, my personal favorite...Superheroes do good, I'm doing well.
Do you see why I have a twitch? I can't turn it off. It's my mother's fault...HI, MOM! She and my English teachers have forever made me perpetually mortified when reading the internet.
Happy National Grammar Day!