Laughter Burns Calories

I recently asked S&S readers to send some of their favorite jokes. As I began reading...well, let me just say...

Bahahahahahaha haaaaaaaaaa ha ha!

Whoosh, I needed that!

Today, since it's been the longest week in history and it's only Tuesday, I thought I'd lighten things up a bit. Go ahead...you have my full permission to laugh until your side aches, your cheeks cramp...and you pee a little (yes, I love you that much).

Silly jokes are my favorite...here are a few that are sure to get a giggle.

PS. Laughter burns calories...so get busy!

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When my son becomes wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When he calms down, I crawl out. - Erma Bombeck

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What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear!

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HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

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I tried to get in my house the other day and I couldn't. Wanna know why? 
I had gnocchi!

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What goes up must come down, except for bubble gum, beloved balloons, and slightly used Rice Krispies.

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Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?
Father: Johnny, I've told you not to mention such things during meals.
Mother: What makes you ask, son?
Johnny: I saw one on daddy's lettuce, but now it's gone.

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What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
Dam!

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To Mom: I'm hot...I'm cold...I'm hungry...Can I have...Can I watch...Heeelllppppp!
To Dad: Where's Mom?

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Do you ever wonder if soy milk is just regular milk, introducing itself in Spanish?

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What do cats call mice on skateboards?
Meals on Wheels!

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Did you hear the news about corduroy pillows?
They make headlines!

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And my favorite...

What did the "0" say to the "8"?
Nice belt!

I...can't...compose...myself.

Happy Tuesday, friends!