I Didn't See

I was recently forwarded a post from a blog, describing a family's loss of a son and their journey as missionaries in Mexico. The intention was to remind all of us, in the midst of life's unfair circumstances, what is most important.

The timing, as God always does, was perfect.

The day before God spoke to my inbox was one of tantrums and total chaos. The kind where you visualize your happy place (which usually includes a solitary life of bubble baths, pedicures, and big fluffy beds without cookie crumbs) to prevent yourself from completely losing it.

As I read this family's story, I began to weep. Not only for their stomach-wrenching, heartbreaking loss but for what I felt God was saying to me.

"I gave him to you...and yet you don't see him."

I consider myself a great Mom. Raising this boy is my full-time job. I feed him, nurture him, teach him, explore with him...and at that moment, God opened my eyes to see him...really see him.

As most Moms do, I fill my days with tasks and schedules. I pick up, wipe up, and hurry up. All the while, my son skips along beside me with his favorite car in hand. He's the most wonderful little human being, with the most infectious little smile.

Handsome, playful, adventurous, observant, cautious, caring...this is what I saw. Then God spoke, and along with all the other wonderful qualities, this is what I now see.

He was created to bring people to Jesus.

Yes, he'll learn his ABC's but will he learn to cry when others cry? He'll find his favorite sport but will he learn to serve with a servant's heart? He'll grow to be big and strong but will he kneel when all others stand? Will he learn his light is meant to drown out darkness? I was created to bring him to Jesus.

The busyness of life redirected my focus. Things that don't matter forced me to see my son differently. Today, I see him the way God sees him..."I’m a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.”